let’s get real

do you guys ever have those days that you wish could just disappear and you could start over? like just get back into bed and restart everything. anyone? well i had one of those days today. seriously it was tough. and getting myself to stay in track with this blog is even tougher. because all i want to do is crawl back into bed and pretend like nothing happened. but i can’t. i have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. as much as i hate even telling myself that. 

the hardest thing for me is not being completely in love with my job. i like it. i love my co-workers but i really wish i could be doing something else to be honest. but like i’ve said in previous posts, this is where God has me right now. so i’ve been trying to make the best of it. well today, it wasn’t the best day. started out okay. but than i got to work and had this crazy migraine. then i didn’t even have a chance to make my coffee until lunch. and of course the migraine stayed all day. and some other issues happened at work that i won’t disclose, but let’s just say i couldn’t focus all day because of it. i just kept wishing that i would wake up and this would all be a dream. do you ever feel like that? Like if you sit and stare at the wall long enough you’ll wake yourself up from your nightmare and be able to start over and forget what you just went through. but the hardest thing for me sometimes is realizing that, staring at a wall isn’t going to wake me up. because i’m already in reality. 

when you’re just a kid you don’t really understand what it means to be an adult. you live life carefree because your parents are taking care of you. they provide everything you need and want. so when a child thinks about what a grown ups life is like, at least for me, you think that someone will always be there to take care of you. someone will always be there to make you dinner or fold your clothes or make your bed. but the reality of it is, that’s not the case. when you grow up, and have to face tough situations, there isn’t anyone there to shield you from the pain. you just have to grin and bare it. you just have to take it in, realize you can’t change it, and figure out how to move on with your life. 

there are so many things i could say, but as i’ve gotten older and my relationship with Christ has grown, it hasn’t always been a walk in the park. i think that’s a huge misconception that people have in regards to Christians. that we have it so easy, we don’t understand what the “real” world is all about. but that’s far from the truth. we still go through stuff. we still have bad days. we still get migraines and sometimes our bosses just make us so mad with decisions they make. that’s normal. but it’s how’s we deal with these situations that make us stand out as Christians. 

today i had the opportunity to really tell someone off. i mean really give him a piece of my mind. i was angry. i felt it would have been well-deserved. this person has treated other co-workers of mine wrong, so i felt it was my duty to give him this long list of wrongs he’d done. and he even gave me the opportunity to speak my mind and share my thoughts with him about a situation. but within moments of me speaking, the only words that actually came out of my mouth were “i’m not concerned because God is in control.” my biggest opportunity and spotlight moment came down to those 8 words. “i’m not concerned because God is in control.” 

i almost couldn’t believe myself after i said it. like “hey stupid this was your shot what are you doing?!?” and i still stuck with my first sentence. nothing changed. today i realized how much a persons actions can change the plans of God. today i realized how important it is for me to always be in His will and make sure that the decisions i make are what He wants me to make. because i really don’t know how my actions can affect others. and today, while i was sitting in that room, listening to this person speak to me, literally all i could think of was “i’m not concerned because God is in control.” and you know, i actually believe that. yes, i was angry in the moment and saddened, but i still know everything will be fine. i’m seeing day by day how God is shifting things and moving things into His perfect plan for us. it’s amazing. i’m so amazed at how God can take something He originally intended for good but man kind of jacked it up, and still make something beautiful out of it. 

just know, no matter what you’re going through, God can still make something beautiful out of it. no matter what it is..

xoxo

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timing is everything

as i’ve gotten older i’m starting to realize that timing really is everything. as much as my personality loves to jump on the opportunity to do something or go somewhere, i have to slow myself down and realize that timing is everything. i haven’t gotten completely used to timing and how to wait on God’s timing. i’m in this stage where i am literally waiting on God’s timing. yes, my husband is still finishing school and we have probably another year left, but i’m so ready for the next thing God has for us! but again, His timing is what i need to wait for. which isn’t always that easy. but it’s necessary.

psalm 27:14 – wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, i say, on the Lord!

who knows where we will be in the next year. all i can do is wait. but what i have learned through that waiting is that this is a great time to better myself. whether that mean through diet and exercise. or even a spiritual diet, getting my relationship with the Lord back to where it needs to be. it could even learning a new talent or skill. this is my time to do that. so while i hate the waiting stage, i’m starting to enjoy having the time to learn what i can.

in the beginning of the year, i created a vision board for the first time ever. i don’t know why i never thought about doing one in the past, but this year i just felt empowered. i figured, if i’m going to be here for another year or two or however, i’m going to start putting vision to my life. i put things on there like a new car, paying off school debt, writing music, working on an ep and more. i decided that this was my year. my year to be productive and to really put vision back into my life. i feel like i lost it for a bit there. but it’s back and i’m excited. God is going to do some amazing things this year, i can feel it. and i’m just happy that i can play even a small part in that.

in the next months, i’ll be adding more to how my vision board is coming and how God is proving Himself faithful through it all. so make sure you are following my blog to keep up and you are signing up for my emails!

 xoxo

who am i?

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so for those of you who don’t know me at all, this post is for you! and probably for those who do know me might still benefit from this. so i realized i started this blog without really officially introducing myself to everyone. so i wanted to spend some time tonight doing just that. my name is megan alexis perez. i am 26 years old. i an originally from new york, i lived in yonkers and long island for about 15 years. when i 15 years old my dad got called by the Lord to go into ministry so he moved us to lakeland, florida so that he can attend southeastern university. i was in florida for about 9 years before i moved up here to pennsylvania. going from new york to florida was not an easy transition, i must say. i find new york and florida to be polar opposites.

not only in weather. it was very shocking to me. i remember in high school, the very first time that my brother and i were asked to hang out with some friends was quite the experience. they asked us if we wanted to go over and go shooting. now mind you, we just moved down here from new york. in new york, going shooting isn’t a good thing. like, you just don’t go out shooting somewhere for fun. that is not a thing. seriously. i remember going home and telling my parents that and they had to explain what they were talking about. my brother and i looked at each other and thought “really?! they do that for fun!!!???” so out our comfort zone.

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that move was probably the most difficult for me. i left a lot in new york. but i did find a lot in florida. the Lord really did a lot in me while i was down there. after high school, i ended up going to a state university first. the friends i had in high school all went to that school and i wanted to go with them. plus my boyfriend at the time was going and i didn’t want to be alone. so my first year of college was not good at all. i know many people don’t know this, and i probably shouldn’t be talking about this but who cares. the past is the past. so my first year of college all i did was hang out with my friends and boyfriend. barely went to class and barely did homework. of course my actions came with consequences. i didn’t do well in my classes and because of it i was asked not return until i got my gpa up. it was so disappointing. i was so broken. i couldn’t believe that i had allowed myself to get that far deep. i was so disappointed. after that, i knew that i needed to basically take my life back and get things on the straight and narrow real quick.

i changed my major (i started as a pre-med biology major) to music and went to community college for a year. some events took place during that year which caused me to make the move back home with my parents and attend southeastern. i ended up graduating from southeastern university with my bachelors in music business with a minor in church music.

i will say that i was very happy i made that move back home. it was hard at first, but i know that that was the Lord working. i ended up meeting my husband my junior year in college. we met at a worship night, another story for another time. we were friends for a little over two years before we actually started dating officially. and about a year after that we were engaged. five months later we were married. it was crazy but, it was God. he is my best friend. and the love of my life. and in a few years, he will be my baby daddy! (this is not a pregnancy announcement lol)

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I will say that my life has not gone the way that i actually thought it would. i mean i thought that i would be close to finishing up medical school at this point in my life. i didn’t anticipate being married until i was about 28-29. and i was totally fine with that. but i would not change anything about my life right. maybe i would change to be a couple pounds lighter but that’s about it.

my entire life, i feel, has been centered around God. most of the time in ways that i couldn’t see. i couldn’t see Him working things out for my good. i couldn’t always feel Him there next to me even though He was always there. i know i have made my mistakes in the past, but He never left me. growing up, i took to music as my way to express myself. music was my escape. when i came to the Lord, i combined both passions and now leading worship is my “escape.” it’s my passion. and not just leading worship. but also taking my knowledge and experience and pouring that into others to help train them in worship and all that it entails. combine that with traveling and you have my dream job. i know that the Lord is preparing us for this dream job (at least i’m praying He does!).

that is pretty much the outer layer of who i am aside from the fact that i am fashion obsessed. i did work in retail for over 6 years and did a lot in visual merchandising, so over time my love for fashion and styling has grown. a little out of control for my budget i might add! haha

so that is me in a nutshell. there is so much more to who i am that is so hard to really just encompass in one blog post. but i wanted to introduce myself to you guys officially. i’m so excited about this blog and where it is going to be going in the next few months. please, if there is a topic you would like me to cover, don’t hesitate to reach out and ask! i would love to hear from you guys!

xoxo

size doesn’t matter

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for years i’ve struggled with the thought of “size matters.” as i’ve gotten older, i’ve come realize that it really doesn’t. your size has nothing to do with who you are as a person. your size doesn’t control your character. your size doesn’t control your heart or your actions. so why is it that as women, we put so much emphasis on our size? as if, when we drop down a couple pounds our lives will somehow magically become perfect. that if we could just lose a couple of pounds, everything will be alright. and where has that thinking gotten us exactly? more and more young girls are growing up with these self-confidence issues that it is a little crazy. but i must admit to you, i used to buy into that thinking. for a long period of time, i bought into the whole “lose weight and you’ll be happy” idea. it was a very sad time in my life. all i cared about was losing weight. i tried every diet, took every weight loss pill, did the whole work out thing and nothing happened. surprise, surprise.

i soon realized how deep this problem really was. it wasn’t so much about losing weight as it was the thought that if i lost the weight, i would be accepted. i just wanted to belong. it was a hard time in my life let me tell you. it almost sucks to write about it, because it makes it that much more real! ugh! anyways..

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being the perfect weight is hard for women, especially in the society we live in. where everywhere we turn there are gorgeous thin supermodels making us feel less than ourselves because we aren’t a size 0. i hate that. i hate that there are girls out there that are starving themselves to become something that God didn’t create them to be. as i’ve gotten older, i have realized that i will never be a size 0. and i’m perfectly okay with that. God created me just the way i am. i am beautiful. i am a daughter of the King! if you’re reading this, take a minute to say that yourself. tell yourself you are beautiful. tell yourself you are a daughter of the king. now go to the bathroom mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and say it again. it’s extremely powerful. i cry just thinking about it. our words have the power of life and death. and we have the power to control what we say about ourselves.

what really matters, is your heart. i think that is where a lot of the problem is. girls think that if they lose weight they will be accepted by everyone. but what happens when you lose that weight and people still don’t accept you because you are mean spirited? or when they find out how selfish you are? what are you going to do then? it doesn’t matter what size you are. people care more about your personality. your heart. how kind you are. how caring you are. that is what makes you, you. not what size jeans you wear!

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i know this isn’t the longest post ever, but i hope after reading this you gained a little more confidence in yourself. knowing that you are beautiful. knowing that you were fearfully and wonderfully made. knowing that you are the daughter of a King. a King who, by the way, thinks you are the most beautiful version of you. who wouldn’t change a thing about the way you look. a King that cares more about your heart than what size clothes you wear. how many of us can say that about someone else?

is this something that you struggle with? leave a comment below and lets pray together! xoxo

 

outfit details:

white button down: old navy (btw this top is on crazy sale!!!! less than $10!!)

black skinny jeans: levi’s